Friday, September 23, 2011

The Change Will Do Me Good


I have never been a person that was big on change. Instead of embracing it, I tend to dread it. One of my best friends says the way people perceive change depends on their own attitude on it. I honestly had never thought about it before, but she is absolutely right.  Like the leaves that are changing into their festive fall finery before taking the last bow before winter and fluttering to the ground,  I have been forced to adjust to some changes.

All my life my fear of change tends to always work me into a real tizzy. This fall, a major life change has left me reeling. For the first time in 11 years, I am not joined at the hip by one or both of my kids. They have both left the nest for school. Once my youngest gets on the bus , I return to a very quiet, empty, lonely house. Yes, my menagerie of pets are still here, but they quickly find a comfortable spot and fall asleep leaving me very much to my own devices in silence. Silly as it sounds, it took me a couple of days to realize that it was OK if I wanted to play my tunes full blast, or watch that sappy chick flick that my kids snort at without complaint. The first time I actually ventured out of the house without my kids was even more of a shock to the system. Instead of being thrilled with this new found freedom, I find myself sad and depressed.



To make matters even worse, the website that I had put so much blood, sweat, and tears into has been abandoned and left to rot just when it was really beginning to take off. Why? The web host went out of business. Since it was their software program that allowed me to update the site, it seemed only a matter of time before that would no longer be available to me. Before, they kept me busy making money through their in house writing programs creating reviews. While it wasn’t a lot of money, I was getting paid weekly something for my efforts making my little website and all the work I put into it worthwhile. I began writing online for the money…period. It was not something I thought I was capable of doing. 

Over time, my purpose for writing changed. As I realized that writing really didn’t make me a whole lot of money, I began to discover I was writing more for the pleasure. It took me a very long time to get to the place where I developed a soul wrenching need to write, and discovered it to be enjoyable. I was completely amazed to find a whole slew of people that actually wrote and maintained a website for the fun of it. Over time, I joined their ranks. That is why when I was hit with the website crisis, I created a new one at blogger and started over from scratch.

Until further notice, while attempting to ride out the changes that seem to be over running my life at the moment, I will try to keep in mind that the change will do me good. Until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a truckers wife.

14 comments:

  1. I'm often a 'no news is good news' kind of person, too. My life is nice and I like nice, so why rock the boat, right? With a few notable exceptions, though, the changes that have come throughout my life have brought new blessings, so I guess change is a good thing. I just have to remind myself of that sometimes.

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  2. Word Nerd, thanks for stopping in to read and comment! I like nice too! A lot of changes turn out to be OK, but I still have to hyperventilate about them a little. If I didn't, I probably wouldn't be me. :D

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  3. I have a hard time accepting change as well. It seems I get going good and strong and then something comes along to change my perspective. I have found that when I relax and embrace the change it is easier for me to accept it into my life. Nice write!!!

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  4. As far as being able to stay home in a quiet house, I'm jealous. As for blogging, I do it for fun too, but it would be nice to make money. I thought I was a follower already. ???

    Joyce
    http://joycelansky.blogspot.com

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  5. I embrace change in all aspects of my life. I do not embrace the seasonal changes, but I survive them.
    A nice look into your heart. Children do grow up and eventually, you'll embrace that, too. I promise. :)

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  6. Excellent post Kathy. Sometimes though--change is HARD, and it is TOUGH, sometimes changes are UNWELCOMED. Not all change is what we would consider good news. But sometimes, how we handle ourselves during that transition--our attitude mainly--through those hard changes--can make a difference in the whole experience.

    On the other hand, some change is good for us even if we don't understand how at the time.

    Cheers, Jenn.

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  7. Mary, thank you for stopping in to read and comment. It sounds like you and I are on the same page. Change can be hard, but eventually I get used to the idea and go on because I really don't have a choice.

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  8. Joyce, thanks for stopping in!! I will get used to the quiet house. I think I just miss the interaction at this point. :D

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  9. Jo, thanks for stopping in!! To a degree I embrace the changes too. I realize everything happens for a reason, not just randomly. I am a born worrier though, regardless of how much I have to mentally give things over to G0d, I still tend to fret about things.

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  10. Jenn, Thank you for stopping in to read and comment!!! I love your perspective on change. Changes are hard, but we adjust because we have to. Good news is rare, although just from the attitude adjustment a person can finally find something good about any situation, even if it is in hindsight.

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  11. The older I get, the less I like changes. I like my life as it is right now, so "please do not disturb" LOL :-)

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  12. Paula, finally someone who is on the same page as me about changes and so eloquently put it into words!! Thank you for stopping by to read and comment! Now I don't feel like a freak! I would rather not rock the boat. No drama, just let my life roll along and do not disturb me. LOL. I love it!!

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  13. Another fascinating post, Kathy!! Like Paula, it keeps getting harder for me to deal with change. Didn't seem to mind change until a couple of years ago. But, nothing has bothered me more than the end of WebsiteBusiness. Just as I was getting accustomed to this blogging business and really liking it, it was over. I really like what you've done and maybe soon I'll figure out a way I can get back to it.

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  14. Betty, the whole Website Business mess hurt a lot of people. I know exactly how you feel. Before Website Business came into my life I would have never even contemplated having a website or writing. I fought it, and struggled with it, and finally settled into it realizing I couldn't live without it. It became apart of me. You should get a free blogger account and get back to it. It certainly satisfies the itch. Stop by One Stop Blog World for ideas on what to blog about!

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