Parent’s Night : Another Season of My Life

     Last night I faced a meeting at my daughter’s school strictly for parents. The meeting was mandatory and the letter sent home specifically stated in bold print “No kids allowed!!” As soon as I seen the letter I was wondering why and trying to think up any possible excuse not to go. Unfortunately my daughter insisted that I had to go. It was scheduled to last a whole hour and be filled with a general meeting in the cafeteria starring the principal and then a meeting with my kids teacher in the classroom. Didn’t sound like my idea of “fun” and I sure was not looking forward to it at all.

      I longed for the seasons of my life when I was one of the kids forbidden from attending. When did I grow up and become eligible for this crap?? With a feeling of foreboding I made my way to the school where other parents were already arriving.

      I took my place alone at one of the tables in the cafeteria and waited trying to look dignified and pious. Soon a lady approached with her kid and asked me if I would mind if she joined me. Did I have a choice? Well no, I didn’t feel like I did, so I was polite and told her “Please do, I won’t bite. “ Before long I realized this woman reeked. At first I couldn’t put my finger on what the hell that awful smell was. Could it be stale cigarette’s? Perhaps it was the stale coffee from the ceramic cup she had brought with her. Where is a can of Febreeze when you need it??

  

     I focused on the principal who soon began droning on about curriculum, extreme teams for reading, a new concept called “word work”, and the new grading policy. I felt instantly like I was back in school myself. Like kids, all the parents fidgeted as we listened, then waited in eager anticipation to be dismissed. I was hoping against hope I wouldn’t run into the mother of my daughter’s former best friend. Murphy’s Law must state that if you don’t want to run into someone, chances are you will find yourself face to face with the woman who puts the itch in bi-otch. If looks could kill, the daggers she zoomed my way would have equaled certain death. As it was, I laughed in her face and proceeded on my merry way.

     I proceeded to my kid’s classroom and I proudly found it with little trouble. I waited in line to greet my daughter’s teacher and then was told to take a seat at my daughter’s desk. Are you kidding me?? All of a sudden I felt like the size of an elephant sitting on a thimble as I squeezed myself into the space between desks and perched on my daughter’s chair hoping to G0d and sunny Je$u$ that I wouldn’t break it. I can honestly say, I wasn’t the only one that looked a little uncomfortable with this arrangement. 

     Soon the teacher began telling us just what our kids do in her class. She encouraged us to look in our kid’s desk, wander around the room, and check everything out. I had really no desire to go through my kid’s desk so I just checked out her school picture ID that she is required to wear. Not far from me one lady was carefully going through everything in her kid’s desk, shaking out each text book and notebook like a dog sniffing for illegal paraphernalia or drugs. It really makes me wonder what she expected to find besides books and school supplies! Equally amusing was that my daughter’s teacher kept repeating that no matter what happened, she was on our side!!

      As I drove home I was annoyed that the school couldn’t have simply typed something up with the information instead of subjecting us to this little “Parent’s Night”. There are many seasons in a person’s life. Unfortunately I have entered into the time of the season where both of my kids are in school and I am expected to tolerate “Parent’s Night”. If only they would have fed us or provided Tylenol for the killer headache we were doomed to get from such a meeting! Until next time when I give you another glimpse into the life of a trucker’s wife.